There are so many ways that many insist can ensure anger is completely avoided, especially in relationships and marriages. The truth is, avoiding anger at times is as impossible as avoiding happiness or contentment or even faith. Anger is absolutely part of human nature. Couples have, however, found ways to minimize anger while not feeding into resentment over things left unsaid. The difference is the way they choose to say what’s important to keep resentment from kicking into overdrive. Still, even the happiest of people become angry at times.
It’s more important to keep anger in check by ensuring it doesn’t explode into rage or other emotions that can lead to dangerous situations. Imagine a recent heated argument with your spouse. Did the argument end only when one of you walked away? Was there a moment, a calm in the storm, that you both paused to catch your breath or were silenced by those devastating words that seem to come from nowhere during a heated argument? What if, almost by instinct, your husband had reached over to move your hair out of your eyes? Or maybe your wife mumbled that you’d set your glass too close to the edge of the table? Anyone who’s ever stumbled on this knows too well how those simple intimate acts that take only seconds are often all that’s needed to suddenly shift priorities. After all, wasn’t it those little nuances in your mate that led you to fall in love in the first place?
Healthy anger always gives way to reason and healthy relationships know the magic in those brief moments of intimacy during an angry confrontation. They’re the salve that heals, or at least, gives way for an opening for a less heated discussion. Is it the cure-all for the problem that led to the anger? Certainly not; but it can be the open door that leads to solid solutions for these problems. In the end, that’s what it’s all about.
Anger, while usually not pleasant, is healthy provided it’s not damaging. Once one learns to differentiate in natural anger and rage or abusive behavior, it’s then when he learns the most. Of course, any anger that’s abusive in any way is an absolute problem and unacceptable. For those who cross the line, and for those who are the target of this dangerous emotion, the only solution is to remove themselves from the situation, whether on a permanent basis or until it’s otherwise resolved.
Are you a chronic worrier? If so, you probably already know it’s bad for your health, but you may not necessarily know why. Up until now, it hasn’t been entirely clear why constant worriers have a higher mortality and a greater risk of health problems. A new study now explains why worrying could lead to an early demise.
Researchers at Purdue University looked back through the health records of 1,788 men over a thirty year period. They were able to correlate personality traits such as being a constant worrier with other health and lifestyle habits such as smoking and drinking. They discovered that health habits such as smoking in these chronic worriers accounted for up to forty percent of their increased mortality. It seems that worriers are more likely to take up bad habits such as smoking and excessive drinking to help deal with their psychological turmoil. Researchers are hoping that the data gained from this study may make it easier to identify people who are at high risk of unhealthy lifestyle habits such as smoking and drinking and intervene early on.
This isn’t the first time that chronic worriers and people that see the dark side of life have had something to worry about. A study conducted in the Netherlands showed that people who are pessimistic have a higher risk of dying of heart disease than those who see the positive side of things. People who suffer from depression also have up to twice the risk of dying of heart related problems – giving constant worriers and depressed people one more thing to ruminate about.
Is it possible to change the habits of a constant worrier? This might help to reduce their risk of adopting risky habits such as smoking and excessive drinking that could lead to an early death. It’s unclear whether treatments such as antidepressants or other interventions lower the mortality rate of worriers. These medications carry side effects of their own and shouldn’t be used except in cases of documented depression that’s unresponsive to other treatments.
There’s little doubt from these studies that chronic worriers need to stop worrying and find more effective ways to deal with stress. Natural interventions like starting an exercise program, seeking a higher power, or practicing medication or yoga are healthy ways to reduce the inner turmoil experienced by the constant worrier. Using stress reduction techniques like these may do more than reduce worrying, it may prolong life.