There are so many ways that many insist can ensure anger is completely avoided, especially in relationships and marriages. The truth is, avoiding anger at times is as impossible as avoiding happiness or contentment or even faith. Anger is absolutely part of human nature. Couples have, however, found ways to minimize anger while not feeding into resentment over things left unsaid. The difference is the way they choose to say what’s important to keep resentment from kicking into overdrive. Still, even the happiest of people become angry at times.
It’s more important to keep anger in check by ensuring it doesn’t explode into rage or other emotions that can lead to dangerous situations. Imagine a recent heated argument with your spouse. Did the argument end only when one of you walked away? Was there a moment, a calm in the storm, that you both paused to catch your breath or were silenced by those devastating words that seem to come from nowhere during a heated argument? What if, almost by instinct, your husband had reached over to move your hair out of your eyes? Or maybe your wife mumbled that you’d set your glass too close to the edge of the table? Anyone who’s ever stumbled on this knows too well how those simple intimate acts that take only seconds are often all that’s needed to suddenly shift priorities. After all, wasn’t it those little nuances in your mate that led you to fall in love in the first place?
Healthy anger always gives way to reason and healthy relationships know the magic in those brief moments of intimacy during an angry confrontation. They’re the salve that heals, or at least, gives way for an opening for a less heated discussion. Is it the cure-all for the problem that led to the anger? Certainly not; but it can be the open door that leads to solid solutions for these problems. In the end, that’s what it’s all about.
Anger, while usually not pleasant, is healthy provided it’s not damaging. Once one learns to differentiate in natural anger and rage or abusive behavior, it’s then when he learns the most. Of course, any anger that’s abusive in any way is an absolute problem and unacceptable. For those who cross the line, and for those who are the target of this dangerous emotion, the only solution is to remove themselves from the situation, whether on a permanent basis or until it’s otherwise resolved.